替我的愛人代班

有一種人,不需要愛情。三、四十歲了,一個人過得很好。他們的自我已經形成一個完整的圓,沒有別人加入的空間。一個人還能圓滿,這是天份。

 

他沒這種天份。他看完電影想跟人討論,回到家希望客廳已經開燈。加薪時得找人分享,躺在床上懶得數羊。他像一個梯形,等待一個頭,和他拼成一個對稱的三角形。過去為了湊成三角,會很努力地追求愛情。努力到相親,努力到改變自己。

 

星期六晚上,西裝筆挺、換上隱形眼鏡、出門前刷牙、臥房還先整理一下。約會的心情像是求職面談,到了夜店感覺在加班。結果有很多第一次約會,很少第二次。很容易接吻,但很難感受到親密。現在還是想戀愛,但方法不同了。

 

慢慢發現:愛不是一件以量取勝、勤能補拙的事。天女散花,只是要到一堆永遠不會打的電話。人海戰術,自己感覺越來越像怪叔叔。到了一定年紀,就知道沒有最好的情人,只有最適合的。花了很多時間和心碎才搞清楚誰適合。不適合的,還是當朋友好。

 

學到的另外一點是:不適合的人遲早要分手,你扭曲自己或為難對方,只是把分手延後、痛苦加長。愛情不是賭梭哈,沒必要猜來猜去。所以不再美化,自己的優缺點,第一次就讓她看見。如果發現她在玩遊戲,告別後不會輸入她的手機。在遇到適合的對象前,只能替他/她代班,先幫他/她好好愛自己。

 

一個人的生活要可愛,才會吸引別人來愛你。你若顧影自憐,沒有人願意走進你的視線。所以吃最好的食物,對面坐著一本好書。拿著酒杯泡澡,喝不完的紅酒就倒掉。買玫瑰,插在進門後的花瓶上。聽音樂會,預購票總是買兩張。讓自己圍繞在愛情的氣氛,這樣當她進入他的世界,才不會久等。愛要練習,藉著用心愛自己,來迎接他/她的到來。

About terence0425leung

哲人無憂,智者常樂。並不是因為所愛的一切他都擁有了,而是所擁有的一切他都愛。
本篇發表於 未分類。將永久鏈結加入書籤。

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