陪伴孩子的真相:錯失的時光無法彌補

如果給你一次坐時光機回到過去的機會,你最想回到什麼時候?你是否也曾幻想坐著時光機來一次旅行?我有幻想過!

如果給我一次機會,回到過去的某個時間,我希望是我的孩子的童年,那時他們一個4歲,一個2歲。然而即使只是想一想,我也會為他們甜蜜的嗓音、柔軟的臉蛋和小手心馳神往,把他們小小的身體緊緊抱在懷裏感覺,是多麼幸福!

當然,這世上並沒有“時光機”這樣神奇的東西,所以“家庭第一”(FamilyFirst)小組成員之一,安迪•梅耶與我們整個團隊分享,作為家長,如何充分利用時間。

英國心臟病基金會稱,一般人每天要花19分鐘懊悔他們遺憾的事,一個星期下來就是丙個半小時。而人們最遺憾的事情之一,就是沒有足夠的時間陪伴家人。

自從24年前我當了父親開始,就一直努力的有意的安排大量時間給孩子們。我想讓他們知道,和他們在一起,對我來說永遠是頭等大事。所以這就是父母該知道的關于陪伴孩子的真相。

積累可以與孩子相處的碎片時間
要獲得孩子的愛,並與他們建立信任關系,而恰巧你又很忙,那麼把生活中許許多多的“小時間”積累起來,並堅持這樣做,是一個非常重要的方式。

他們會知道,你愛他們,因為你總是希望在他們身邊,他們也會從中學到信任,依賴你的存在。這就像如果一直保持吃健康食物的習慣,就會導致一種更加健康的生活方式。如果你經常花時間陪伴孩子,那麼帶來的是和孩子間更加牢固的關系。

忽略也會積累
也許這個月的大部分你都很晚回家,等你到家時,孩子們早已睡下。你可能會對自己或者另一半說“下個月,下個月我一定早點回來。”但是到了下個月,你還是那麼忙,一切照舊。

你對孩子的怠慢和忽略一點點累積起來,你看到後果:孩子們會因此有一些不良和反抗行為。也許他們會注意到,當你不在家裏,你不是扔下他們一個人去玩,或者是別的什麼消遣。雖然我也能理解為生計奔波的忙碌和辛勞,但是我仍不得不告訴你:和孩子在一起有多麼重要!只因為他是你的孩子,所以他們生活中的大事小情,對你來說都是大事。

偶然的陪伴不能成事兒
沒人能在餓一頓之後瘦50磅,所以你怎麼能指望陪孩子玩一下午以後,他就和你建立深厚的關系呢?所以這種偶爾一次為之的陪伴並不足以滿足孩子對于你的感情需求,也不能提供給他們足夠的關注。

錯失的時間無法彌補
時間,是世界上最寶貴的東西之一。錯過的時間一去不復返,永遠不可能給你“從頭來過”的機會。因為要完成工作的一個項目,所以錯過兒子的足球比賽;因為忘記時間,所以缺席女兒的芭蕾舞演出……這些時光不會重來一次。所以把陪伴的時間當成一個珍貴而偉大的禮物送給孩子,也送給你自己。

About terence0425leung

哲人無憂,智者常樂。並不是因為所愛的一切他都擁有了,而是所擁有的一切他都愛。
本篇發表於 未分類。將永久鏈結加入書籤。

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